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English Jokes of the Month: September
A Science Lecture
www.teacherjoe.us
A famous scientist was on his way to a lecture in yet another
university when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey,
boss, I've heard your speech so many times I bet I could
deliver it and give you the night off." "Sounds
great," the scientist said. When they got to the auditorium,
the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled into
the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered
the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions.
"Yes," said one professor. Then he launched into
a highly technical question. The chauffeur was panic stricken
for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy
one," he replied. "In fact, it's so easy, I'm
going to let my chauffeur answer it!"
From Learn English with Teacher Joe
¡½¡¡ÂÐÏã²Âê¡¡¡½
Helen: What did you get for your birthday?
Sam: An electric guitar. It¡Çs the best present I¡Çve ever
received.
Helen: Why?
Sam: My mom gives me five dollars a week.if I don¡Çt play
it.
Teacher: Tom, do you know that fish is brain food?
Tom: Yes, I do. I eat fish everyday.
Teacher: Oh, well! There goes another scientific theory.
°Ê¾å¡¡´Ý»³¹§ÃË»áÃø½ñ¤è¤ê
¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡*********************************************************************************
¡ÚÀè·î¤ÎÅú¤¨¹ç¤ï¤»¡Û¡¡ Just One Copy
A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he
found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece
of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO,"
this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make
this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned
the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start
button.
"Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper
disappeared inside the shredder. "I just need one copy."
Gray Hairs
One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother
do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed
that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking
out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her
mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your
hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every
time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy,
one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought
about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Mom,
how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"
¡¡¡¡¡¡1¡¡À»¤Ê¤ëÀ¶µ°é
Carol: How did I get here, Mommy?
Mommy: God sent you, dear.
Carol: And did God sent you, too, Mommy?
Mommy: Yes, dear.
Carol: And grandma and great-grandma, too?
Mommy: Yes, dear.
Carol: Then, you mean to tell me, Mommy, that there have
been no sexual relations in this family for over 100 years?
¡¡
¡¡¡¡¡¡£²¡¡Copy¡Ê¼Ì¤·¤Æ¡Ë¤Ê¤¤¤Î¤Ë¥«¥ó¥Ë¥ó¥°¡©
Teacher: Mark, you copied from Tom¡Çs paper, didn¡Çt you?
Mark: How did you find out?
Teacher: Tom¡Çs paper says, ¡ÈI don¡Çt know,¡É and yours says,
¡ÈNeither do I.¡É
¡¡