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                    English Jokes of the Month: September 
                    A Science Lecture 
                      www.teacherjoe.us 
                      A famous scientist was on his way to a lecture in yet another 
                      university when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, 
                      boss, I've heard your speech so many times I bet I could 
                      deliver it and give you the night off." "Sounds 
                      great," the scientist said. When they got to the auditorium, 
                      the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled into 
                      the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered 
                      the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions. 
                      "Yes," said one professor. Then he launched into 
                      a highly technical question. The chauffeur was panic stricken 
                      for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy 
                      one," he replied. "In fact, it's so easy, I'm 
                      going to let my chauffeur answer it!"
                    From Learn English with Teacher Joe
                      ¡½¡¡ÂÐÏã²Âê¡¡¡½
                    Helen: What did you get for your birthday? 
                      Sam: An electric guitar. It¡Çs the best present I¡Çve ever 
                      received.
                    Helen: Why?
                    Sam: My mom gives me five dollars a week.if I don¡Çt play 
                      it. 
                    
                      Teacher: Tom, do you know that fish is brain food? 
                      Tom: Yes, I do. I eat fish everyday.
                    Teacher: Oh, well! There goes another scientific theory.
                    °Ê¾å¡¡´Ý»³¹§ÃË»áÃø½ñ¤è¤ê 
                    
                      ¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡*********************************************************************************
                    ¡ÚÀè·î¤ÎÅú¤¨¹ç¤ï¤»¡Û¡¡ Just One Copy 
                      A young executive was leaving the office at 6pm when he 
                      found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece 
                      of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO," 
                      this is important, and my secretary has left. Can you make 
                      this thing work?" 
                      "Certainly," said the young executive. He turned 
                      the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start 
                      button. 
                    "Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper 
                      disappeared inside the shredder. "I just need one copy." 
                    
                     Gray Hairs 
                      One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother 
                      do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed 
                      that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking 
                      out in contrast to her brunette hair. She looked at her 
                      mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your 
                      hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied "Well, every 
                      time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, 
                      one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought 
                      about this revelation for a while and then asked, "Mom, 
                      how come all of grandma's hairs are white?"
                    
                    ¡¡¡¡¡¡1¡¡À»¤Ê¤ëÀ¶µ°é
                    Carol: How did I get here, Mommy?
                    Mommy: God sent you, dear.
                    Carol: And did God sent you, too, Mommy? 
                    Mommy: Yes, dear.
                    Carol: And grandma and great-grandma, too?
                    Mommy: Yes, dear. 
                    Carol: Then, you mean to tell me, Mommy, that there have 
                      been no sexual relations in this family for over 100 years? 
                    
                    ¡¡
                    ¡¡¡¡¡¡£²¡¡Copy¡Ê¼Ì¤·¤Æ¡Ë¤Ê¤¤¤Î¤Ë¥«¥ó¥Ë¥ó¥°¡©
                    Teacher: Mark, you copied from Tom¡Çs paper, didn¡Çt you?
                    Mark: How did you find out?
                    Teacher: Tom¡Çs paper says, ¡ÈI don¡Çt know,¡É and yours says, 
                      ¡ÈNeither do I.¡É
                    
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