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English Jokes of the Month: November


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­¡¡¡Looking down at his 80-year-old patient, doctor decided to tell her the truth.

¡ÈI feel I should tell you the truth. You¡Çre very ill. Is there someone you¡Çd like to see?¡É

¡ÈYes,¡É said the patient feebly.

¡ÈWho?¡É asked the doctor.

¡ÈAnother doctor,¡É said the patient.

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Father: Bob, your report card isn¡Çt as good as last term. Why is that?

Bob: Oh, that¡Çs teacher¡Çs fault, Dad.

Father: What do you mean? You¡Çve still got the same teacher, don¡Çt you?

Bob: Yes. But she moved Georgia, the cleverest girl who used to sit next to me, to the front row.


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The president listened sympathetically as one of his young staff explained why he needed a raise.
¡ÈYes, I quite understand,¡É said the president. ¡ÈI realize you can¡Çt get married on the small salary I¡Çm paying you. But some day, believe me, you¡Çll thank me for it.¡É

­¢¡¡

Husband: If I died, would you marry again?

Wife: I think so.

Husband: Would you make love to him?

Wife: I suppose so.

Husband: Would you give him all my clothes?

Wife: Never!

Husband: Why?

Wife: Because he is not your size.

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¡Ú£¹·î¤ÎÅú¤¨¹ç¤ï¤»¡Û A Science Lecture
www.teacherjoe.us
A famous scientist was on his way to a lecture in yet another university when his chauffeur offered an idea. "Hey, boss, I've heard your speech so many times I bet I could deliver it and give you the night off." "Sounds great," the scientist said. When they got to the auditorium, the scientist put on the chauffeur's hat and settled into the back row. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Afterward he asked if there were any questions. "Yes," said one professor. Then he launched into a highly technical question. The chauffeur was panic stricken for a moment but quickly recovered. "That's an easy one," he replied. "In fact, it's so easy, I'm going to let my chauffeur answer it!"

From Learn English with Teacher Joe
¡½¡¡ÂÐÏã²Âê¡¡¡½

Helen: What did you get for your birthday?
Sam: An electric guitar. It¡Çs the best present I¡Çve ever received.

Helen: Why?

Sam: My mom gives me five dollars a week.if I don¡Çt play it.


Teacher: Tom, do you know that fish is brain food?
Tom: Yes, I do. I eat fish everyday.

Teacher: Oh, well! There goes another scientific theory.

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