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English Jokes of the Month: December


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¡¡"We're going to have a terrific time tonight," said the young man when he arrived at his date's house.
"I have three tickets to the concert."
"Three?" she replied. "Why do we need three?"
Winking slyly, the youth said, "They're for your parents and sister."


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Harry Smith was sent to Central Africa by his company.
He sent a postcard to his wife as soon as he arrived.
Unfortunately it was delivered to another Mrs. Smith whose husband had died the day before.
The postcard read: ARRIVED SAFELY THIS MORNING.THE HEAT IS TERRIBLE.


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unfortunately¡¡¡ÖÉÔ±¿¤Ê¤³¤È¤Ë¡×¡¡¡¡¡¡was delivered¡¡¡ÖÇÛ㤵¤ì¤¿¡×
another Mrs. Smith¡¡¡ÖÊ̤Υ¹¥ß¥¹É׿͡ס¡¡¡the day before¡¡¡Ö¤½¤ÎÁ°¤ÎÆü¤Ë¡×¡¡¡¡safely ¡Ö̵»ö¤Ë¡×


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¤³¤ÎÏäμç¿Í¸ø¤Î̾Á°¤Ï Harry Smith ¤Ç¤¹¤¬¡¢Smith ¤È¤¤¤¦À«¤Î¿Í¤Ï±ÑÊƤǺǤ⿤¤¤È¸À¤ï¤ì¤Æ¤¤¤Þ¤¹¡£¤Ê¤¼ Smith ¤È¤¤¤¦¿Í¤¬Â¿¤¤¤Î¤«µ¿Ìä¤Ë»×¤Ã¤Æ¤¤¤¿ÃˤλҤϡ¢¤¢¤ëÆüÅż֤«¤é³°¤ò¸«¤Æ¤¤¤ë¤È¤­¡¢"Smith Producing Company"¡Ê¥¹¥ß¥¹À½Â¤²ñ¼Ò¡Ë¤È¤¤¤¦´ÇÈĤò¸«¤Ä¤±¡¢¡Ö¤¢¤¢¡¢¤³¤³¤Ç Smith ¤ò¤¿¤¯¤µ¤óºî¤Ã¤Æ¤¤¤ë¤«¤é Smith ¤È¤¤¤¦¿Í¤¬Â¿¤¤¤Î¤«¡×¤ÈǼÆÀ¤·¤¿¤È¤¤¤¦Ï䬤¢¤ê¤Þ¤¹¡£


Harry ¤â¤¢¤ê¤Õ¤ì¤¿Ì¾Á°¤Ç¡¢"Tom, Dick, and Harry"
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­¡¡¡Looking down at his 80-year-old patient, doctor decided to tell her the truth.

¡ÈI feel I should tell you the truth. You¡Çre very ill. Is there someone you¡Çd like to see?¡É

¡ÈYes,¡É said the patient feebly.

¡ÈWho?¡É asked the doctor.

¡ÈAnother doctor,¡É said the patient.

­¢¡¡

Father: Bob, your report card isn¡Çt as good as last term. Why is that?

Bob: Oh, that¡Çs teacher¡Çs fault, Dad.

Father: What do you mean? You¡Çve still got the same teacher, don¡Çt you?

Bob: Yes. But she moved Georgia, the cleverest girl who used to sit next to me, to the front row.


¼¡¤Ë°ì¤Ò¤Í¤ê¤ÎɬÍפʤâ¤Î¤ò£²Â꡽

The president listened sympathetically as one of his young staff explained why he needed a raise.
¡ÈYes, I quite understand,¡É said the president. ¡ÈI realize you can¡Çt get married on the small salary I¡Çm paying you. But some day, believe me, you¡Çll thank me for it.¡É

­¢¡¡

Husband: If I died, would you marry again?

Wife: I think so.

Husband: Would you make love to him?

Wife: I suppose so.

Husband: Would you give him all my clothes?

Wife: Never!

Husband: Why?

Wife: Because he is not your size.

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